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“Maybe you’re right. I don’t know, but this is starting to get deep. Why don’t we go out to eat, get our baby girl, and let this all drop for now? I’m just…” He took a deep breath before he continued. “I’m just not ready for this, Tara. Not right now. I’m sorry.”
I gave him a reassuring smile and moved off the bed, holding my hand out to him. “You don’t have to be. That’s the beauty of it all. You don’t have to do anything at all. Let’s go and get some chicken wings. If we aren’t having sex I’m totally going to give myself a stomach ache by burying my sorrows in some hot sauce and vinegar!”
He came over, grinning his patented charming grin, and gave me a hug and peck on the top of my head.
“You are beautiful, you know? And damned sexy. Fucking gorgeous, even. I’d eat you up and keep going... I’ll go and pick up Amanda and Rikki. She’ll probably want to come too.” He pulled away and I let him go, watching the way his jeans hugged his bottom as he did so.
13. Galen
I watched her for the rest of the night, laughing as she teased Amanda about the mystery man she was dating. We had no idea who he was, or why they were keeping it a secret, but I was starting to have my suspicions. I was too distracted by the way Tara looked when she laughed to really care, though.
Her brown hair was out of its usual bun, soft and silky in curls around her shoulders before falling down her back. I’d loved burying my hands in its length while she sucked my dick.
Down boy, I said to myself, my blood surging at the memory. But then her lips caught my attention. Lips that had never sucked a man’s cock before until they wrapped around mine. Fuck!
I shifted in my seat, trying to ease the pressure on my zipper the memory caused.
“Galen, why are you so quiet?” Amanda was obviously trying to change the subject, but I was too distracted by the light in Tara’s eyes. Was she thinking about that moment only an hour ago when I’d had her nipple in my mouth and her clit under my fingers, oh so close to release?
I was never going to be able to stand up around her again. Not at this pace.
“I, uh, just have a lot on my mind. Do you want dessert?” I realized they were still eating but I needed to change the subject.
I’d seen that teasing gleam in Tara’s eyes as I’d spoken, and knew exactly what she was thinking. The same thing I was thinking about.
My cock between those sweet lips of hers, sliding in and out as she sucked me so, so tightly. I’d thought her only inexperienced when she couldn’t take all of me, but then, not all women can. Learning that she was a virgin had stopped me cold.
Normally, I’m not the kind of sentimental man that would stop because of a flimsy hymen. If the lady knew what she wanted, I’d give it to her. Tara was different. Tara was special. It wasn’t just that I’d married her; it was that I’d developed a lot of respect for her. She’d taken on her role as a student with aplomb, she’d cared for my daughter when she didn’t have to, and she’d given me the chance I needed to make sure my daughter stayed where she belonged.
Whether she knew it or not, that meant the world to me. I wasn’t going to fuck up the friendship she’d given me by having sex with her on a whim either. I wanted her; I wanted her with every fiber of my being. Ever since she’d moved into the house I’d found myself staring at her ass. Whether it was in a tiny pair of sleep shorts or covered by a nightgown, I wanted to squeeze it. I’d dreamed about her breasts, her mouth, and her long elegant fingers. I’d imagined them wrapped around my dick in several fantasies, those beautiful brown eyes staring up at me as she made me come.
I ached for her, my balls ached for her. I was going to sit right here and pretend I wasn’t thinking any of that. Tara deserved better than me, I hadn’t been bullshitting her. Learning she was a virgin had been a shock, but somehow not surprising.
She was worldly in the way of the youth today, but there’d always been something innocent about her. Something slightly naive. It hadn’t put me off—I found it refreshing, actually. I didn’t want to be the one that took that away from her though. Mainly, I didn’t want to break her heart.
For all she’d talked about logic, curiosity, and just wanting to get her virginity out of the way, there was something vulnerable in her when she said those things and that frightened me. I’d hurt Kayla. Hurt her enough to make her leave without actually meaning to. What would I do to Tara? I didn’t want to see that same look of despair in her eyes—that look of resignation as she walked away. It would kill me to see it from Tara.
That didn’t mean I could stop thinking about her. She made me laugh with her jokes about the sex lives of socks in the dryer, she made me think with her answers to my questions, and she cared for Rikki and me like we really were her family. Even wipes pizza sauce from Rikki’s chubby, grinning cheeks.
“I wuv yoo, Tar-wah, even if you wipe my face.” Rikki held her arms up to Tara and Tara bent down to hug my daughter and kiss her into another fit of giggles. That was something that got me, just how much she cared for my daughter.
It was obvious for anyone to see, the pair were best friends for life now. A doubt started to creep in then, watching the three females all laughing together. How was I going to rip them apart? Could I?
For the first time, I was doubting my decision to marry Tara as a matter of convenience. I hadn’t even thought about how it would cause them pain later. I wasn’t worried about me, I could deal with it. But what about Rikki and Tara?
Sadness and guilt filled me as Tara and Rikki started to feed each other French fries. Rikki looked up at Tara with a mouth full of teeth and potatoes, grinning away. Dammit. How could I not have thought of this?
I’d made provisions for them to be able to see each other after we divorced, sometime down the road, but would that be enough? It was obvious my daughter was just as in love with Tara as Tara was with Rikki. Rikki was going to have it rough when she grew older and learned how her real mother died. Would Tara still be around to help her deal with it? Would she be around to reassure Rikki that she’d been loved her whole life?
I’d grown up with that doubt; I didn’t want my little girl to experience it, though I knew it was going to be unavoidable at some point. Kayla had left us both behind, not just me. Both of us. Rikki was a smart girl, she’d know what it meant. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a slug of my beer.
I’d allowed myself two, but I was driving, so sipped at them slowly. I needed the cool, crisp tang of the lager to drive away that thick lump in my throat. I started tapping my fingers to the music playing, something about fires burning somewhere, a rather catchy song, just to distract myself. Too much thinking, I decided, simply wasn’t good for me.
The girls managed to make their way through dessert before we left, and I was more than grateful when we all headed out to the car. Tara settled Rikki in her car seat, before getting into the passenger seat.
“Hey, why don’t you guys come and stay with me tonight? You know I have room, Tara,” Amanda said innocently from the back seat.
“No, you don’t. There are only two bedrooms.” Tara looked out of the window but I heard the tiniest bit of annoyance in her voice. My eyes narrowed, watching her, but she didn’t turn back so I started the car and pulled out. I had to wonder if she was upset with me.
“Well, Rikki can sleep with me, and you two can have...” but she didn’t get to finish before Tara turned in her seat and glared at her friend in the backseat.
“You shut your face, woman!”
I smothered a laugh. Tara never said things like that. She was changing though, I reminded myself. She’d said fuck earlier and it had nearly floored me. It was just so cute when she said it!
“Come on, Tara, it’s still hot out! You two can just...”
“What did I say, Amanda?” I chanced a glance at my wife and saw her left eyebrow was raised. I remembered seeing that look when I was a child from my own mother. Amanda was in trouble!
“Okay, okay. Do you want m
e to keep Rikki then?” Amanda was obviously up to something, and I let her sort it with Tara.
“That’s up to Galen. She’s his daughter.” No snark this time, just honesty.
“Do you want to stay with Aunty Amanda tonight, Rikki?”
“Manny!” My food-drunk daughter squealed doing a toddler happy dance in her car seat.
“I guess that settles it then.” I drove up to the house and pulled in. “I’ll get her some clothes and sort a bag for you.”
The ladies walked over to the house while I was getting Rikki’s bag ready. She’d never stayed away from home before and I was a little concerned about it. We weren’t far away though, and I knew Amanda was a competent caregiver. It would be a test, if nothing else, of how all of us dealt with even a slight separation.
By the time I got to Amanda’s place, Rikki had passed out on the couch, her favorite blanket already covering her. “I think all that food and excitement after the heat of the day wore her out.”
Tara was stroking Rikki’s fine blond hair, the curls as soft as air. The moment was tender, moving, and solidified my thoughts that perhaps I’d screwed up by not realizing how strong of a bond Rikki and Tara might form.
“I was worried when I was over at the house, afraid that Rikki would fuss when we left, but she’s already asleep.”
“I don’t think you need to worry. She missed her nap today and the heat got to us both.” I think she might have been giving us both an out for the way we’d spent those moments when I’d first arrived home.
“I think there’s a storm coming. It’ll cool off in a little while.” I stood there awkwardly, not able to think of anything else to say.
“More than likely.” She turned to Amanda then. “I’m going to take another cold shower and go to bed, but if she wakes up and wants to come home, come tap on my window. Galen has an early class in the morning, but I don’t have anything until the afternoon, so get me up.”
I was astounded. She knew my schedule. She wanted to let me sleep if Rikki woke up. From the moment Kayla died I’d had full responsibility for Rikki. I was up with her during the fevers and tummy aches; I’d quieted and soothed her nightmares. I’d gone without sleep when she couldn’t get to sleep. I’d arranged my schedule around her appointments. Tara was someone that not only understood my responsibilities but wanted to share them. Tara wanted to ease my burdens.
Something shifted inside of me then, something that I thought was long dead and buried. Was it hope, I wondered, or gratitude? Both, perhaps?
I wasn’t sure but I kept my mouth shut as she stood and hugged her friend. “Just give me a call if you need anything.”
I was impressed; she was so good at this.
“Thank you,” I said quietly as we walked back to the house.
“For what?”
“For caring, Tara. About me and Rikki. For caring for us.” I took her hand and squeezed it gently. “That means a lot to me.”
She gave me a gentle smile and went to the kitchen. I followed her in as she filled a glass with water, and turned to me.
“You’re a human being, Galen. You’ve also been through Hell. You deserve to be cared for.”
“You don’t have to, but you do. It matters.” I felt a bashful smile cross my face and turned away.
“I’m going to head to bed. I think Rikki will be fine but I’m going to get some sleep just in case. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Her tone brushed away my gratitude, and for a moment I felt stung. She wasn’t even going to try and get me back into bed with her after the evening’s escapades? She took the sting away as she walked by me, brushing her fingers against mine for a moment, before she left the room.
I stood in the empty kitchen, lost and completely confused. My body was in turmoil, my brain felt as though it was filled with fog, and I was too hyper to sleep. I went into my office, sitting down at my computer. The photographs from our wedding were there, awaiting my approval.
I flipped through the album provided by the photographer, making notes of the ones I wanted prints of. It wouldn’t look like a real marriage if we didn’t display at least one picture, would it? I paused at one, the surreal beauty of the image stunning me.
I’d walked away from Tara for a moment, looking at a squirrel that had decided to throw acorns at us. I was smiling up at the animal but Tara was watching me. The photographer had captured her from the side, her face angled perfectly as she watched me. Behind us, the oaks formed a canopy that created the illusion of a magical, secret world.
It was Tara’s face that caught me off guard. She had such a solemn look on her face, her brows knitted slightly, as though she were puzzled. At the same time, there was a gentleness to her gaze, an emotion I’d never seen on her before, except for when she was looking at Rikki. Patience, love, devotion.
Did she love me? Could she? She was so down to earth in most cases, so logical about everything. The picture showed a side of her I didn’t think she’d realized she’d exposed. I selected it as a large size and a smaller size on the order form. A size that I could carry with me, that I could pull out and look at without anybody noticing. I wanted to keep it close to me for the rest of my life because it was a promise. I wasn’t sure I wanted that promise but she was giving it. I might just take it.
14. Tara
I went into my bedroom, alone, feeling drained and exhausted, despite my nap. The day had been terrible when the central air died, stressing poor Rikki and me almost to tears, and then Galen had come into the room, changing the entire day. For a few brief moments, he’d made the world far more incredible than he already had. Then it all slipped away.
In the end, I think we formed more of a bond than sex might have produced.
I slid into bed, pushing the duvet away, and pulling the sheet over me once I’d changed into a nightgown. I felt my body relax but my brain was racing.
What was he thinking in his office, alone? Was he remembering the moment he found me naked and asleep? Or the way I’d kissed him as he touched me, making me quiver and twist for more. Was he thinking about the way I’d touched him? I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
The sound of his moans as he’d slid between my lips replayed. I could almost hear the sighs. My fingers clenched in my bedding, needing to touch something, anything. Him. Was I ever going to sleep tonight?
I needed to, I’d have to be up early to take Rikki from Amanda and make breakfast for Galen. He didn’t require much but I liked to butter his toast and spread jam on it. I liked handing him a cup of coffee. He’d never asked me to do any of it, I’d just started to do it when I’d moved in. It started out as nothing more than an excuse to spend time with him, a way to say ‘you matter’, but now it was a display of how much I cared. I felt good when I did something to care for him.
I knew things would change when I started my more senior classes, and if I managed to get into medical school. But that was at least another year and a half down the road. For now, I had time. If I was lucky, I might have enough time to convince him that we could make more of this than a business relationship. We could make it a real marriage, if we only tried.
Sighing, I rolled over, kicking the sheet away and pushing my pillow under my head to prop it up higher. How could it still be so hot? I sat up, feeling like I was about to explode. Exhausted, but unable to sleep, I decided a third shower was a good idea. Throwing my nightgown away, I marched across the carpeted floors to the bathroom, a robe over my arm. Galen was in his office so there was no worry there.
I pushed into the room, turned on the light, and headed for the shower. Except, out of the corner of my eye I saw someone standing by the far wall. I turned, my wide eyes going wider as I saw a very naked Galen standing there, his hand filled with the evidence of his manhood.
“Galen, I’m so sorry...” I started, but he cut me off. He cut me off by marching up to me, taking me in his arms and kissing me.
Shit! I was dreaming again! There was no way this was actually
happening, was there? He’d definitely turned me down earlier, most definitely! He felt real, though, his tongue tangling with mine felt more than real. It felt hot, wet, and so delicious! I moaned into his mouth, letting myself go as we melded together.
I pulled away, needing to catch my breath, needing to know if this was real or if it was just yet another way for my brain to torment me. Maybe I’d fallen asleep in the bed, maybe…
“Tara, don’t go. Please.”
It was real, I’d felt his breath on my face as he pulled me back to his hard, broad chest. I’d heard the ragged need in his shaking voice. My hands flattened on his pectoral muscles, tensing to hold on to him. I looked into his eyes, unsure of what to say.
Instead of speaking I pressed my lips to his chest, just over his heart. I kissed him softly, my hands sliding down his sides, then back up to cup his face. “I’ll never go. Not as long as you want me here.”
Breath exploded from his mouth as he pulled me against him, picking me up to carry me to his bed. I went willingly, gladly, as he gently set me on the edge and followed. I realized I was quite naked but felt no shame. He didn’t look at me with disgust or ridicule, he looked at me with hunger and need. He burned for me, just as I burned for him.
This time he pulled away, pushing my hair back from my face as he looked down at me. “You’re sure? One final time. I need to know this is what you want.”
I paused as lightning made the darkness explode into white light.
Oh yeah, I was awake, this was real!
I didn’t say anything, I just shook my head in agreement as thunder shook the house.
We both had so much to lose if we did this. We could end up hurt, angry, and enemies if this all went wrong. If it went right though... we had everything to gain. I definitely wanted to find out how it ended.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
His lips claimed mine, filling me with no other thought than him as he invaded my body. He pressed himself to me, head to toe, and for a moment I couldn’t breathe. He shifted, letting me breathe once again. Our breathing was rough, harsh, and labored, a sign of just how wild we felt. A wildness that matched the storm raging outside.