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“Hey, Tara. You poor thing. I didn’t mean to be so long.” I opened my eyes to see Galen kneeling beside me, John behind him. I scrubbed at my face, hoping I hadn’t drooled everywhere. My contacts were still in; I could feel them scratching at my eyes and blinked.
I sat up and looked at the men with an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I was just so tired all of a sudden.”
“It’s understandable. I guess I turned your world upside down.” Galen looked kind of bashful for a moment, before his finger came up to tuck a curl of escaped hair behind my ear. “Why don’t you get some rest? We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“That sounds like a plan. My brain is done for the day. Oh, my homework is going to be late this week.” I gave him what I hoped was a sassy wink as I stood, straightening my clothes.
“The amount of time you put into your work, Tara, I doubt any of your professors will have a problem. Don’t worry too much but let them know it will be late.” He came with me to his front door and walked me to my own house. We stood on my stoop for a moment, his hand still holding my arm.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” I had to look up to see him, his green eyes drawing me in. I wanted to drown in his eyes, melt against his chest, to touch every single muscular inch of him. If only he’d let me.
His hand came up to cup my cheek, a smile playing around his full lips. Kissable lips. Mmmm, I want him so much. I didn’t say so. I didn’t even sway as he touched me.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Tara. Goodnight.” He turned, beast mode back in place.
He was crumbling, I could see it. I smiled and went back into the house, going straight to bed. The man could definitely break my heart, but I hoped he wouldn’t. Perhaps it was stupid of me, but it was a chance I was willing to take.
10. Tara
“What do you mean you don’t have anybody to invite? What about Amanda?”
Galen looked over at me, his soon-to-be wife, lost as to how I had nobody to invite. He knew my history, but shouldn’t I have cousins, aunts, friends from high school that I’d want to invite?
“Amanda is going to be my witness, but there’s no one else. My grandmother didn’t stay in contact with her relatives, and I’m not the most friendly person, if you haven’t noticed.” I felt myself blush and looked away. We’d had to get through the rest of the week and now it was the weekend, we both had time to sit down to plan the wedding.
“Shall we elope? We can go down to the coast, maybe to Savannah, and have a nice quiet wedding.”
“Oh, that sounds perfect! Can it be arranged?”
“Anything’s possible, Tara.” His look said he’d move mountains for me if that’s what it took. “Let’s see. I’m certain I saw a website for wedding venues in Charleston somewhere.” Galen went back to his laptop clicking buttons and scrolling until he found what he wanted. “There. Small, personal, and sweet.”
I saw it immediately. There was the classic oak lane that every southern little girl dreams of for her wedding, dripping with moss and gothic charm. I’d never really thought about where I’d like to get married until then. I’d never really thought about getting married. I’d been trying to get through school, and then I’d had Gran to take care of and then school again. It just never crossed my mind.
“There. That place.” I pointed at the place on the screen. “There’s also lodging there, so we can spend the honeymoon there. Everybody can have a room and we can make a weekend of it.”
Galen smiled at me, looking at the place with approval. “That looks perfect. I’m not usually into old plantations, but you’re right. Those places are made for weddings. Let me make some calls.”
I wanted to clap with joy, which made me roll my eyes at myself. I allowed myself a moment of girlish glee by taking a picture of it and sending it to Amanda. She’d been totally lost for words when I’d told her what I’d agreed to, her eyes round and huge, but then she’d jumped around me screaming about how lucky I was!
I’d reminded her it was all fake, but she’d ignored me. She knew I had a thing for him. She carried the same flame.
She texted me back, the words ‘road trip’ in capital letters with a dozen exclamation points. I didn’t want to be nosy and ask Galen if he could afford it, but I guessed he could, he hadn’t asked me for any money, and had set up an appointment for me to choose a gown from a shop in town. I was supposed to be there in an hour with Amanda.
“We’re in luck, there’s a cancellation next weekend. Is that alright with you?” He came back to the conversation with me, his gaze locking with mine.
“Wow. Yeah, I guess so. Can we get the license in time?” We’d already applied for it but Galen had handled it all so I didn’t know what else we needed to do. “Do we have to get blood tests or anything?”
“Nope, we’re ready to go. It was all done when we went down to the courthouse. And stop worrying about the school. They ask that we keep it quiet, but what I’ve brought them lately and my history with them is enough to keep them off of my back. I have some pull there, after all.” He gave me a reassuring grin and patted my hand.
“Right then, that settles it. I’m going to go get ready for this dress shopping. I wish you’d tell me what my budget is.” I looked over at him, worried I was going to hurt his bank account.
“I hate to be crude, Tara, but money is no object here. Look at this.” He slid over what turned out to be a bank statement. My eyes went wide at all the zeroes. “Between what Kayla left Rikki and me, a very good life insurance policy, and my book sales, we don’t have to worry about anything.”
I looked up at him, lost for words. I understood the prenuptial agreement now. Not that I’d ever take a dime from him when we divorced but, yeah, he needed to protect those assets for himself and his daughter.
“Okay then. Wow. Thank you.” I wasn’t sure I liked spending a dead woman’s money but he insisted I buy the dress of my dreams. It was also another reminder that this was a sham wedding. I kept reminding myself at every opportunity but it was easy to get caught up in it all.
Amanda picked me up a little while later and before I knew it, I was surrounded by white lace, satin, and a kaleidoscope of colors. I felt overwhelmed until a consultant came to me with a pleased smile. She was an older woman with hair slicked back into a tight bun, and a relaxing aura that soothed me. Standing in a tight pencil skirt with a black silk top, she looked strict and unapproachable, but her warm brown eyes informed me the appearance was a lie.
“Hi there, Tara. I’m Millicent. I’ll be your consultant. If you’ll follow me, we can get started. Bring your friend too.” She gave me another soft smile and we followed along behind her. “Your fella called me and told me to let you have what you want, but you’re a sensible girl, aren’t you? I’ve picked out some dresses for you already. Galen sent me a picture of you so I could get started.”
I looked back at Amanda with a gasp and we grinned at each other. That was thoughtful!
“Good God, Tara, look at that!” Amanda went straight for a lacy silk creation with a deep cut in the bodice. It was an antique white, almost gold, with a broad ribbon just under the bust.
“No, I couldn’t wear that, Amanda! I’d look like a can of biscuits on the verge of exploding!”
I dismissed it but my eyes lingered, loving the soft look of the lace.
I tried on a crisp white chiffon number, another one covered in rhinestones and appliques, and one with pockets and crimson red ribbons, but my eyes kept going to the dress in the corner. I’d rejected all of the others, hating them instantly.
“I can pull more if you’d like,” Millicent said easily, not irritated at all, but she saw the way my eyes went to the other dress. “Why don’t you just try it on, Tara? It’s been very flattering for other brides.”
“I’ll look so stupid in it. I couldn’t wear it. I just…” I sighed, staring at it hard. I didn’t even know how much it was yet! “Alright.”
I shimmied out of the beribboned confection I’d been
standing in and took the dress of satin and lace. I loved it from the moment my hands touched the soft fabric. It was light, soft, and as it fell over my head, it fell into place over all of my curves. It hugged me in all of the right places, and rather than being too low cut, it sat just right on my generous bust. Millicent zipped it up and that was it. This was my dress!
“Oh, Tara…” Amanda breathed my name out on a long sigh, her eyes watering as she brushed at them. “You’re just… wow, you’re gorgeous girl!”
She came behind me, one hand at my waist as she turned me from side to side in front of the wall of mirrors showing me from all angles. Her hands moved, taking some kind of pin from Millicent as Amanda twisted my hair on top of my head. She worked, pulling strands loose, shifting the dress on my hips, tugging it over my breasts, and then she stood back.
With my dark hair twisted into a French twist, my body perfectly outlined by the dress, I felt beautiful for the first time in my life. I gulped down a lump in my throat as I stared at myself, lost. How could a simple dress make such a difference?
“This is it, Millicent. Amanda, is this real?” I couldn’t take my eyes from the way the dress made me look, but I wanted it.
“It is, honey, and you deserve it. You so deserve it!” She squeezed my shoulders and gave me another smile. I clasped at her hand and turned to give her my own watery smile.
“Thank you, Amanda. You’ve been such a gift to me. Don’t make me cry!” I buried my head in her shoulder and laughed but cried. I had a wedding dress. Suddenly, it was all real. I was getting married to the man of my dreams. Even if he barely knew I was alive.
11. Galen
This might be a bad idea, I thought as I stared into a mirror a week later. The school wasn’t happy about it but I’d told them we were getting married and planning to keep it all quiet. I’d show up Monday with a shiny new wedding band on my finger and hope in my heart. Maybe it would be better if she transferred. I decided to talk with Tara later, when we weren’t about to pledge our fake love and eternal devotion.
I could remember the last time, and the doubts I’d had then. Doubts about myself, about what I could provide to Kayla. They’d all melted away as soon as she walked down the aisle and I stopped caring. I promised myself to find a way to make the world hers.
Now, my doubts were about how smart I was being. Bill, my lawyer, had called it a ‘hare-brained’ idea. He might be right but I was willing to give it a try. I shot the wrists of my dress shirt beneath my new tux and walked the area under the oak-lined alley designated as our wedding venue.
Rikki was there, adorable in her white lace gown with a pink ribbon in her blond hair, John and the other fellows stood with me. They all gave me a reassuring handshake and we waited as the music started.
Tara walked out with only Amanda at her side, their elbows linked together as they walked up the aisle. I couldn’t take my eyes off Tara. The makeup artist had put very little on her, but what they’d done drew attention to eyes that I already knew were beautiful. Amanda had done Tara’s hair up in a twist of some kind, curls trailing around her face softly. And that dress! Worth every single penny!
I felt too many things at once to take notice of them all, but the blood surging in my veins, straight down to my groin was uncomfortable. Tara was breathtakingly beautiful and the murmur my friends behind me told me I wasn’t the only one that had noticed.
“Fuck yeah, I’d take that in a heartbeat.” I heard Steven whisper too loudly and glared over at him to shut up. “Sorry man. Your wife, sorry.”
“Shut the fuck up Steve!” I ground out between clenched teeth before going back to staring Tara down. I hadn’t known she had such a tiny waist, or that she had those…fucking hell that was some beautiful cleavage! It drew my eyes as she came closer and I felt my heart beat faster. Fucking gorgeous!
I looked into her eyes as she drew near, her bright, expectant eyes and I gave her my most charming of grins. “You chose well, princess.”
I saw her pulse flutter in her throat and reminded myself to call her that more often. At least today. We could go back to our lives later, for now, I wanted to pretend that this beautiful woman was really going to be my wife in every way. That I’d soon be making love to her. Not just fucking her, but loving her. Just for a little while.
12. Tara
The vows passed by in a blur. All I knew was Galen’s hand was in mine, that something had changed, and then his lips were on mine, the mantilla veil not covering my face. All I could feel was his lips on mine, all I could hear was his breath and mine as we cupped each other’s faces. His tongue played along my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, letting him in. His tongue was hot and wet, and it played along mine. I felt clenching heat turn into a flame inside of me. He kissed me just like I knew he would, teasing, in control, inviting me to fall down the rabbit hole with him.
I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream in joy, but most of all, I wanted everybody to disappear so I could kiss him more, longer, deeper. He broke away and reality intruded as we tried to catch our breath. He’d felt that, I knew he had!
Amanda pulled me away to hug me before I could look at him and the men pulled him in for back slapping and bear hugs of their own. Then we all traded and everybody had a go at hugging. Rikki wanted her own hugs and we all passed her around like a football and the little girl was covered in kisses by the time she made it to me. She stared up at me with awe in her little eyes, and her hand reached out tentatively to touch the lace on my head.
“Tar-wah boo-tee-full.” Her little girl voice and her words made my heart swell again, and I pulled her close, loving her even more in that moment.
We’d decided to keep up the charade, even at the plantation, so after an evening meal, a small amount of dancing, and a few toasts over a small cake, Galen and I went to bed. Amanda was taking care of Rikki and the men were still partying.
“Thank you, Tara. That was beautiful. Magical even.” I’d gone to the door between our rooms, planning on taking off my finery and slipping into the huge claw-footed bathtub in my room alone. His words stopped me.
“Thank you, Galen. It was magical, even if it was all sham. I’ll see you in the morning.” I made to turn the door knob but he stopped me again.
“Tara, why don’t you stay for a while?” I turned to look at him, seeing how he’d already pulled off his tie and undone the buttons on his shirt. He looked hopeful and after that kiss, I knew there was only one place tonight was going to lead. I wasn’t ready for it. Not yet. I was too vulnerable, too new to all of this to take that chance.
I couldn’t spend two years with him if we had sex right now. What if it all went south, what if we ended up hating each other and I’d given myself to him? I knew I was one of those girls that had to be in love to have sex. I’m fairly certain I was in love with him, but Galen wasn’t in love. I needed his love before I’d give in to any kind of desires, mine or his.
“I’m tired, Galen. It’s best if we keep it real for the moment, anyway. This isn’t real right?” I gave a rueful smile and turned away, hoping he wouldn’t see the pain my words caused me.
“No, of course not. You’re right. You’re a smart girl, after all, Tara. Good night, princess. Sweet dreams.” I didn’t look back; I just pushed through the door and to the other side. I had to—I’d almost given in when he’d called me princess.
That word reminded me of his kiss, of how I’d felt him hard and long against my stomach as the kiss deepened, how I’d wanted to pull him to me until there was only one of us. I couldn’t allow it to happen, not until I was certain he wanted me for the long haul, and not just a moment in time. For me, that’s what the marriage was about—a hope that this really could be forever. When I’d seen how he looked at me as I came to stand by his side, I’d known there was a possibility. I was going to take a chance and hope it paid off.
* * *
Two weeks passed and it’s almost like I’d never lived anywhere else. Amanda jumped at the chance
to move out her dorm and be rent-free. I’d paid the entire lease before I moved in, thinking it would save me some hassle and the owner gave me a discount for doing so. It didn’t bother me to give Amanda a hand. She was settling in fine, the same as I was.
Galen’s house had three bedrooms and while my clothes and other things were in his room, I slept in the guest room. I didn’t know what would have happened if he ever had guests other than the few friends we had. We were too busy getting used to living with each other and preparing for his court date to think of practicalities like where guests would sleep.
During the morning I went to class and John watched Rikki. When I came home I took over. During the evenings I did my work and Galen would take over caring for Rikki. It wasn’t until she was asleep and we’d both finished writing or grading papers that we actually really saw each other. Things were going fine, until the day the central air died.
I don’t know if you’ve ever been in Georgia in October, but the day the air went out was the day a record-breaking ninety degrees hit town. The repairman couldn’t come out until the next day and it was hot. Stripping off and standing in the cold shower kind of hot. I sent Rikki over to stay the night with “aunt” Amanda, worried that even with the fans running it was too hot for her.
I wasn’t her momma, but I was taking care of her like I was. I loved her dearly, and when she came to me, sweaty and hot, I couldn’t stand it. Galen asked if we should go to a hotel for the night when he called me at lunch, but I told him we’d manage once the sun went down, and as long as the repairman showed up the next day.
I’d stretched out on the bed in my room, naked and trying to convince myself to do my homework. I had a box-fan blowing at me, the window open, though the curtains were closed, and I’m pretty sure I was on the verge of sweating to death. We needed a pool, I thought, as I stared into the darkening room. A big one, full of nice cold water. Or maybe a run out to the lake.